Tag Archives: joke

Newsfeed: That’s Why I Sent You a Helicopter

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Remember this one? 

        There was a man who lived on the edge of a town in a small house.  One day heavy rains began to fall, and the town began to flood.  His neighbor came by with his truck and offered to take the man to safer grounds.
         “No,” said the man.  “God will save me.”
         The water rose higher and soon another neighbor came by with his canoe, offering to take the man to safer grounds.
         “No,” said the man.  “God will save me.”
         The water rose higher and soon city officials came to the man with their speed boat, offering the man a ride and a life jacket.
         “No,” said the man.  “God will save me.”
         Soon the water was so deep that the man had to climb up to his roof.  As the water crept up the man’s boots, a helicopter came, offering to take the man to safer grounds.
         “No,” the man still said. “God will save me.”
         The helicopter left.  The water rose.  And the man drowned. When he got to heaven, the man asked God, “God, my home was flooding.  Why didn’t you save me?”
         And God said, “Well, I sent you a truck, a canoe, a speedboat and a helicopter!”

Deliberate on the nature of miracles in my most awesome humor essay, “That’s Why I Sent You a Helicopter.”  This essay is available for viewing at epiphmag.com.